Goud & Ghey
by UnicornGiggles
Summary: UPDATED CH3 A PokemonDragon Ball Z-GT crossover - Vegeta and James? Lovers? Wow I'm nuts...
1. That First Touch

After the latest battle upon Earth, Dende decided to find a way to solve the problems of these constant wars. So with the help of the Kai's, the universe was rearranged to the best specifications for peace and harmony. Why the buggers didn't do that in the first place I'll never know. Among these alterations was the fusing of some dimensions. Two in particular we shall look at. Two Earths. One, a prehistoric yet futuristic world filled with natives, aliens and creatures in-between and out-between. And another with regular people and animals but with another species of indeterminable class. And when these two worlds were merged only the Z-fighters of the first world and their kin knew of the changes.

          "So just because Kakarotto is gone, we have to give up fighting?"

          "It's not as simple as that Vegeta. This was the best arrangement for universal peace. There will still be need for fighting skills, for war and evil will never be truly gone," Dende explained to the Z-fighters telepathically. As usual, Vegeta was being cantankerous. "Well that's not good enough. A Saiya-jin warrior needs conflict around him at all times in order to reach his full potential." His wife punched the back of his head. "Conflictive enough?" she smirked. He growled and strutted away. The others laughed and left him to it.

          Meanwhile, on the other side of the world in Kanto, Japan, a trio of trouble was crawling up a mountain path. The first, a fiery red head, the second a blue-haired bishounen of unquestionable sexuality and thirdly a tough talking kitty-cat.

"C'mon Jess. Moi feet ar hurtin'."

"I agree with Meowth, this sun is playing havoc with my complexion." The bishounen whined as he plastered on some sunscreen. The woman turned around whipping him in the face with her hair. He squealed knowing what was going to happen next. She produced a paper fan and whacked him around the head with it. 

"HEY! DON'T HIT MY JAMESY WAMESY!" someone called below. James ran towards the voice. "Save me Justina!" Jesse scowled. "Oh it's just that retard girl from England who keeps following us."

"Correction. Following him," I stroked James hair as he cowered beside me. "Lookie James!" I showed him a poster of a Capsule Corporation Jacket. "Go to Capsule Corp. if you want one," I hinted subtly.

James sighed, "We have no money…"

          "Oh they'll just give you one for free if you pretend you intend to pay."

          "Really? EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" James scampered away before Jesse could stop him. "Dammit, what are you up to?" she said. I was too busy going over my ultimate plan in my head and staring at James' arse. "I didn't tell him where to go…"

          Luckily, James used what little initiative he had and saw the address on the back of the poster. He flew across to America (don't ask me how he afforded that) and wandered around Seattle looking for Capsule Corp. But it wasn't easy, he had to make his way through busy crowds and graffiti covered streets. The most common tags were 'DBC', 'Prince Rau is ma bitch' and 'Frieza was here'. James eventually made it to Capsule Corp. "This must be the place," he muttered to himself and cautiously entered the building. The first room seemed to be a reception with a desk, phone, computer and a sign saying 'gone to lunch'. "Aws!" James stamped his foot. "I wanted a coooooool jacket." There was a shuffling sound followed by a low growl in the next room. "Hello?" he edged through the doorway. "Cooo-eee! Is anyone here? I wanna get one of those coooooool jackets." He paused. There before him, was a short, muscular, scantily clad monkey-man. "I… I… I-yi…." The man turned around and frowned. "Bulma?" Vegeta looked James up and down. "No… you're flat-chested and too feminine." James giggled and blushed. "I hope you don't think me forward but… well you're pretty hot and… um…" Vegeta took a step back. But he's a guy… I think, he thought. Then again, I haven't felt this way since Kakaro… He reached out and brushed his gloved hand against James. He fell into Vegeta's arms. "Finally, a dominating man to love me!" 

          "Finally, a complete and utter poof to adore me!" Vegeta grinned. James suddenly noticed that his back was bent awkwardly in order to be at chest height to Vegeta and his legs buckled underneath him. He sat on the floor and smiled cheekily. Vegeta turned and pointed to his bedroom. "Now," was all he said. James clapped his hands and skipped after Vegeta. He didn't need telling twice.


	2. Playing With Captain Arbok

            James' soft snoring echoed around the room. He lay with his right arm tucked up underneath his pillow and the other lay in front of his nose. His right knee poked out over the edge of the bed and the left stretched out towards the opposite corner of the bed. In other words, Vegeta had very little room. And he was pissed off about it. He snarled and pulled the blanket over to his side. James pulled it back. "Fine," Vegeta huffed. "Keep it." He looked over at the back of James head. Not another Bulma, thought Vegeta. You sleep with them once and then they never leave. He sighed. Then asked, "Why are you still here?" James turned and mumbled in his sleep. He shuffled up to Vegeta and nuzzled at his chest. "ACK!" Vegeta yelled. "Get off me you homo!" James' eyes slowly opened and he tried to take in the room's features. He blinked and then finally muttered, "Cool Zelda poster." 

            "It's my son's room."

            "Oh a son… cool." James stretched his arms out. "Oh dear. Your SON? His ROOM? That's just wrong…"

            "Well we couldn't go to my room. My wife would kill me."

            "WIFE???" James leapt up to gather his clothes. "Nuh-uh no… I'm not a home-wrecker. I could NOT have that on my conscience." Vegeta watched him with amusement. "Oh my kids are all grown up now. And Bulma won't care if I stay or go."

James looked back at him in amazement, "Grown-up? How old are you?"

            "In Earth years? About 60." James dropped the clothes on the floor and clutched Vegeta's face. "You… BASTARD! How do you do it? Not a wrinkle in sight!" Vegeta pushed him away. "As a Saiya-jin warrior I age at a different rate to you humans."

            "……. I knew it! I've been anal-probed by an alien! Now I've got a ALF foetus growing inside my liver!" he wailed loudly. Vegeta stared in disgust. What a child this human was. The entrance door swung open and Bulma's voice called out, "Vegeta? Are you home?" Vegeta put his hand against James mouth and held him tightly. "OK shut up! Yes. I'm an alien but I've been on earth for years. The only difference between my species and yours is our life expectancy and tails." He released James carefully. "Tail?" whispered James. "I think I would've noticed THAT!" He grinned. Vegeta picked up his boots. "It was cut off years ago. Now look, you just wait in here for a while. Trunks wont be home for hours. So you're safe." James eyed a picture of hot'n'sexy Trunks next to the bed. "Shame," he muttered. 

Vegeta scowled at James, "Stay away from my son you vile temptress." James sniffed and drew a figure of eight on the wall. "You make it sound like it was my fault. I can't help it if you wanted my hot body." James poked his tongue out. "Nyah!"

            "What? You came onto me first!"

            "Well you didn't _have_ to play with my Captain Arbok." 

            "Well _you_ didn't have to play with the Greater Saiyaman." Their argument was disrupted by Bulma calling again. Vegeta put on his last glove and sneaked out the door. James gazed meekly at his crumpled uniform. "Hey, where's my belt?" He hunted around. "I know we used it at some point…"

            Bulma looked up as Vegeta stumbled into the reception, trying to look as innocent as possible. Which is fairly difficult to do when you accidentally put your spandex on backwards. "Vegeta, there you are. Bra is going to be late home. Will you meet her at the mall at 2am? She'll need you to fly her home. Oh and wear something that can withstand hydrochloric acid and half-digested fries being spewed onto it. She's been partying as usual." She smiled and closed the book she was reading. "This is the company stats for the month. Give it to Trunks when he comes in." She handed it over and then proceeded to waltz away. "Want something to eat?"

            "Er…" Vegeta wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation. He had been so ready to explain the accident that had occurred whilst she was out. "No thank you." He ran back to Trunks' room.

            "No… thank you? He refused food AND was polite about it! That's strange."

            Vegeta paced around Trunks' room. "What the fuck is this hot feeling in my stomach? Oh good you're dressed. What was I saying… ah yes – what the hell is this?"

            "Guilt?" James suggested as he sat on Trunks' dresser, kicking his legs out at the air. Vegeta sat on the edge of the bed and shoved his boot off. "A Saiya-jin warrior feels no guilt for anything." He picked at his toenail. James shuddered. "Can't you do that somewhere else? Besides maybe its um… maybe you're scared to tell your wife you're leaving her for me?" Vegeta exploded with laughter. It made Bulma, on the other side of the house jump in fright and drop a tomato onto her shoe. "Dammit these are my best work-shoes." She lit a cigarette. "He's such an asshole sometimes. What is he doing out there? Perhaps he's planning to run away with a young beautiful woman." She heaved a sigh and traced the lines of her face with her index finger. The biggest clues to her age lay there. She'd kept her body in shape, but age kept nagging at her skin. And it was winning against her. She'd thought a lot about letting Vegeta go. She was aging so fast and he remained so youthful. She was the greatest genius in the world… but she couldn't even invent a time machine yet. Another version of her had. But she couldn't. She stubbed out her cigarette and went to clean her shoe. Back in Trunks' room, Vegeta was wiping the tears from his eyes. "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard," he giggle-snorted. James marched up to him and slapped his face. Vegeta was still heaving with laughter and had no time to block it. He put his hand on his face. "What was that? That couldn't even tickle a newborn Saiyaling." 

James whined, "Oh excuse me Mr. Big Strong Tail-less Monkey Guy!" He sat on the floor and frowned a little frown. "Look at me. You've turned me into a nasty brute. I don't think I've ever hit someone." Vegeta was intrigued. He'd never known a man that didn't fight. Then again – he looked at James – someone like him wouldn't last very long. "EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" James eeeed. "He has a Gundam toy!" He picked it up and made swooshy sounds. "Vegeta…" he said after a moment. "Do you really think it's dumb?"

            "What is?"

            "Swwwooooossssshhhhh! Us."

            "What us? Who said there was an us?" 

James giggled, "An us! Anus!" Vegeta kicked the Gundam out of James' hands. "Hey…" he began to whinge but Vegeta pulled him up from the floor and said very frankly, "I'm not sure if there's an I, you, me, we, whatever. All I know is that if I go out there and say anything to Bulma she'll kill me."

James smiled nervously, "But she's weaker than you, surely?" Vegeta put James down. "You're right… what am I afraid of?"

James smoothed his uniform. "Hurting her. Emotionally, I mean." Vegeta laughed uproariously. "I have absolutely no consideration for anyone's _feelings_ ever!" 

            "OK lets go tell her!"

            "Tell her what exactly?"

            "That you're my new boyfriend!" James danced around the bedroom in glee. Vegeta shrunk back. "Ag! You make it sound like we're teenagers going to prom night!" Before James had time to answer the door swung open. "Trunks?" Bulma enquired. James scrambled to hide behind Vegeta. "EEEEEEK!!!" 

Bulma let her head fall to one side as she looked at James, "Who's he? He's not a Z-fighter, that's for sure…" James walked cautiously over to her. "Oooooh she's pretty! Old, but pretty!" Bulma raised her fist to clobber him one but Vegeta pulled him back and pushed Bulma out of the door. "He's a friend of Trunks' that's all." Bulma looked back over her shoulder. "Has he been home? His bed's a mess!" Vegeta froze on the spot and didn't notice as Bulma went back to the room.. "Hello, I'm Trunks' mother. You'll have to excuse the mess. He usually makes his bed." She extended her hand for a handshake. Remembering what his hands had been doing a few minutes ago, James bowed instead of reciprocating the Western gesture. "Oh I'm sorry. I should've known; my best friend is from Japan. But, you don't look very… oriental."

            "Oh well I _am_ a homely white boy, but I was raised in Japan for some reason," he shrugged. Vegeta pushed James out of the room. "Anyway you must be going mustn't you... um…"

            "James."

            "Yes – James. Well goodbye, we'll tell Trunks you came round." James was going to let himself be pushed out of the room but then he noticed his belt hanging from the door handle. "MY BELT!" he squealed hugging it. Vegeta slapped his forehead in disbelief. How dumb could the lad be? "Belt?" Bulma asked. "Why did you take your belt off?"

            "Erm…"

            "He didn't. He let Trunks' borrow it and now he's taking it back. That's why he's here." Vegeta couldn't believe how good at lying he was. "He must have hung it on the door so it could be seen." 

James clapped his hands and said, "Yes and now I've got it so bye-bye!" He scampered out of the room and towards the entrance. A low rumbling in the ground stopped him in his tracks. "EEEEEK!!! I know that sound." James whimpered. A woman burst through the door wearing a ripped-in-all-the-right-places Team Rocket uniform and a very large gun. She had obviously been through a lot just to get to America. "GIMME BACK MY JAMES!!!" she screeched. James twiddled his thumbs. "Really my dear, you _do_ make such a fuss over nothing." Jesse pulled him to her and swung the gun in the direction of Vegeta and Bulma who had run out to see what all the commotion was about. "OK which one of you stole my partner?" 

            "Partner? You're straight?! After all that fuss you made when I said I wouldn't be your boyfriend!"

            "BOYFRIEND?" Bulma growled. "WHAT?" Vegeta groaned as he realised what he'd said. "Dammit, the plan was near-perfect." Jesse ignored him and clutched James to her bosom. "I'm never letting you get away again you stupid boy. Its not healthy, all this man-sexing." James struggled to get away. "But Jesse, I like men!" 

Jesse looked at Vegeta, "You've got strange tastes in men, I'll give you that." Bulma went straight up to Jesse and demanded to know what was wrong with her husband. "Well", Jesse started, "He's gay for a start. That's not a good quality in a guy if you want sex from him." Vegeta punched himself in the face in the hopes that he'd wake up from this crazy dream. Bulma stated that Jesse was just as bad – the guy she was after was a confessed homosexual. "Exactly!" James squealed. "But try telling _her_ that. She wont have it." 

            "But 80% of our fans think it's not true! That we are meant to be together forever! Look!" She lifted up her skirt and James squeaked in horror. "I'M BLIND!!!" Jesse sighed. "Not at that, I'm wearing panties. On my left thigh, look." James peeked through his fingers at a small tattoo depicting a rocket and the letters JAJL underneath it. "Oh no…" he sighed. "Not that again." Jesse dashed over to one of Bulma's computers. "See here? Fanfiction.net. So much sex and Rocketshipping…" she mooned over the endless pages of stories. "But Jesse, they're fanFICTION," James pointed out. But Jesse was lost in a sea of lost plot-holes and babies with purple hair. James looked at Vegeta, Vegeta looked at Bulma and Bulma looked at James. "So…" she said. "What'll we tell the kids, Vegeta?"


	3. New Threat

James slurped his milkshake up through the straw noisily, stopping only to press his hand against his eyeball and proclaiming feebly, "Brain freeze…" Jesse looked up from her magazine and huffed. She reached for a chip and popped it into her mouth and mumbled between chewing, "Where… is that… git, anyway?" Meowth joined them at their table outside the 'Café Noir'. Normally they ate indoors in such places but the day was cool and a scent of honeysuckle was carried to them from a house up the street and they wished to savour it before the ever-oppressive Prince Vegeta came back to join James. Jesse had little hope of that. She knew of the Vegeta-type. Her life had been full of them. And she didn't want James to be with someone else. He was all hers. If not in a romantic sense, then at least she could trap him within Team Rocket. But James was sat there playing with the salt and acting like a giddy schoolgirl in love for the first time. Meowth stole one of her chips and said, "He said dat he'd meet uz 'ere at 12."

          "Men never keep promises."

          "I dunno. Beji-kun is very proud. He'd keep a promise I reckon."

          "Stop using random Japanese. You're white, fool," Jesse said.

          "Baka!" he corrected her. She rolled her eyes and inquired as to what their plan of action was. "What do you mean?" he asked. She poked his chest. "Where will you live, idiot? You have no money and I assume you plan to leave Team Rocket to go live with that… thing."

          "Saiya-jin." James pushed her finger away calmly and finished his milkshake. "Justina said we could live with her."

          "Crazy-ass fan-girl…"

          "Yeah but she's got big hoo-" Meowth was interrupted by the Flying Fist O' Jesse. "Mine are better!" she snapped. James ignored them. Vegeta was hovering above them and James' eyes sparkled with joy. "VEGETA!!!" he squealed, jumping up from his chair and beckoning him down. He remained in the air but came down a few feet so that they were within hearing range. "I had to go see a… friend. I'm heading over to Justina's place. You can follow in that air contraption of yours. I'll go slowly."

          "But don't you want to carry me, honey-bunny?"

          "Oh for the love of…"

          James snuggled against Vegeta's chest as they flew slowly with the Meowth balloon in pursuit. The pace was exceedingly tedious for Vegeta and James fidgeted a lot. He was glad when he spotted the house. Located at the side of an empty valley with a small river flowing through, it was quite picturesque. The house itself looked far too modern and synthetic for the pretty surroundings. The ground floor was rounded with two doors and windows. The windows were rounded and it looked rather like a Capsule Corporation home. But the top floor was square and looked rather like a badly constructed tree house in comparison with the smooth sleek floor below. The windows up there were rectangular and the roof was only slightly curved to allow rainwater to fall away. There was no guttering and James wondered how they were going to go to the loo and if there were any taps inside. But he'd ask later. A figure burst out of the main door and jumped onto him before he had a chance to get down from Vegeta's arms. "Kawaii bishounen Kojiro-kun!" I shrieked, nuzzling against his chest.

          "Wai wai bishoujo-chan!" he replied and we danced around each other in glee. Vegeta watched with his left eyebrow twitching in confusion      and Jesse seemed seconds away from reaching for one of their company guns and shooting us. Meowth patted Vegeta on the back of his leg. "Youse… are a brave goi." He grumbled something back that sounded pretty unsavoury. Jesse scowled and dragged Meowth into the balloon and without so much as a wave goodbye, took off into the sky. "Awww," James whined. I patted him on the shoulder and promised him he could plait my hair. He cheered up at that and followed me into the house. Vegeta remained where he was. "What kind of egotistical dumbass writes themselves into their own fic?"

          "I heard that," I shouted out of the window.

          "You fucking WROTE it!" he snapped back. I leaned out of the window. "I'm just narrating our lives."

          "Well stop writing your parts as a POV. It's annoying." Justina sighed and complied. She had to keep the Saiya-jin Prince happy.

          Luckily for you, Justina was hardly ever around. She worked around the clock to earn the money to feed the two gluttonous men and whenever she was at home she was usually on her precious computer or trying to figure out a way to film Vegeta and James 'getting it on' without their knowing. Vegeta trained almost non-stop; his only breaks were for food, sleep and James. And James… well, he did absolutely nothing. No one seemed to mind and he enjoyed not having to traipse around after Pokémon or begging the boss not to fire him anymore. Right at this moment, he was enjoying a show called 'All My Pokémon'. Jigglypuff just told Tyranitar that he wasn't the father of little Pichu. It was getting pretty juicy. "It's got to be Houndour! She's had the hots for him ever since he came out of his coma," he said out loud.

          "Hn." James turned around to see Vegeta scowling at the TV. "Pathetic really. Television is only for those with no life. Living can be much more interesting than any show."

James grinned, "Well sure if you can fly and visit alien planets and stuff."

          "No-ones stopping you." Vegeta uncrossed his arms and snatched up an apple from the bowl on the coffee table. "The fan-girl can teach you to fly. She learnt by copying me." James clapped in delight. Then realised… "But I'm afraid of heights!" he grinned sheepishly. Vegeta's left eyebrow twitched. A frequent occurrence, brought on by the squealing boy and the mood-swinging otaku. He pinched the bridge of his nose and growled, "I'm going to go train some more." James let him go. He felt a little annoyed that Vegeta hadn't offered to teach him how to fly himself. No matter, he thought. He looked back at the TV. The 'All My Pokémon' credits were rolling. "DAMN YOU VEGETA!!!"

As in any yaoi fan fiction, there must be a soppy show of emotions between the two lovers. Good thing this isn't any yaoi fan fiction! We join our two favourite homo-sexy-als sat together upon a scenic cliff-top overlooking the sea. James snuggled up to Vegeta in his usual blatant show of affection and Vegeta looked around in a feverish attempt to check no one he knew was watching. In fact, if _anything_ was watching. "Veggie-chan, you've got to relax more. You'll have a heart attack before your time." 

Vegeta grumbled, "I AM relaxed." James snuggled closer. "Nope I can hear your heart going buh-dum buh-dum buh-dum really fast." Vegeta rolled his eyes. Every time they were alone James had to turn it into a lovey-dovey pow-wow. "Can we go back now? I want to train."

          "Awww all you ever do is train," he whined. Vegeta frowned slightly then looked around carefully. "Listen," he murmured. "I'm training because I sensed a powerful ki a few months ago. It's headed for earth."

          "Ooooooooohe! You get to save earth without that Goku guy spoiling it?" he wriggled in excitement.

Vegeta grabbed his arm and yelled at James, "This isn't a game, we could all die if this person is stronger than me. I mean… I highly doubt it, but I've learnt not to underestimate my enemy. And we have no Dragonballs so if anyone dies, that's it. They're gone." James blinked. "I'm too pretty to die," he whimpered. Vegeta sighed. "I'm going to go train now."

          "For how long?"

          "Hn… a month maybe. I'll be somewhere around mid-Asia if you need me." Suddenly, he stood up and flew away. James, powerless, watched him go. He clutched his hand and looked at it sadly. "A month? You are going to be SO sore…"   


End file.
